If there’s one industry that consistently produces the most insufferable advertising campaigns, it’s the insurance industry. Between Flo from Progressive, Jake from State Farm, The GIECO lineup, and that AllState Mayhem Guy, I don’t think you can even argue that another industry comes close—except for maybe anti-smoking companies.
In an effort to synthesize (and possible make sense of) my frustration, I’ve decided to rank the top insurance company spokesperson according to how much I want them dead.
The AllState Mayhem Guy:
The AllState Mayhem Guy is BY FAR the least hateable mainstream insurance spokesperson in America right now. In fact, I think I actually like this guy to an extent. His delivery is smooth and his jawline could cut cinderblocks. Also, his commercials run at a far less annoying rate compared to the others on this list so I’m giving the AllState Mayhem Guy a pass on this one.
Jake from State Farm:
Like the AllState Mayhem Guy, Jake from State Farm doesn’t bother me as much as he should; however, he’s on this list for a reason. I’ve seen this commercial 4-5 times a day for the last 5 years or so and I’m starting to lose sleep because of it. I no longer can help waking up at 2 AM, staring at my cell phone, and contemplating hitting up Jake from State Farm because it seems like the only viable option at that point. Death, taxes, Jakes from State Farm.
The GIECO Conglomerate:
With all other insurance companies considered, GEICO remains an enigma because of the sheer number of spokespersons they’ve rolled out over the last few years—the Gecko, the Cavemen, the Rhetorical Questions Guy, the money with eyes, and the Pig. Out of all these spokespersons, I think the Cavemen line bothered me the most because those commercials lasted the longest. The first one was sort of funny; the 50th one was about as funny as Vietnam. What made it worse was that FOX even tried to make a sitcom out of the concept and it dive-bombed after about 3 episodes…
Flo from Progressive:
This was an easy one for me because I don’t think there’s a human on planet Earth that I hate more than Flo from Progressive. It’s been a few years since Progressive started using Flo and I’ve yet to receive any sort of compensation for the emotional distress she’s caused me over the years. I mean, she’s literally everywhere: on the TV, on the radio, on website advertisements, etc. I can’t stand it! If you’re going to make the face of your insurance company someone with a face as punchable as Donald Sterling, at least have the decency to limit their exposure. It’s getting to the point where I would rather experience a colonoscopy while engulfed in flames than listen to Flo moan some song about the Name Your Price Tool.