So in classic “me” fashion, I just started watching Game of Thrones. All I’ve heard over the last few months is how incredible it is and how it’s arguably the best hour of everyone’s week and blah blah blah. So far I’m about 3 episodes in and—although I don’t have a clue what the fuck is going on half the time—I think it’s pretty good. The midget dude is an absolute beast but I could care less if everyone else dies in a car fire at this point.
Anyway, after doing some Twitter and Facebook research on the show, I’ve learned that it was based on a series of books, which immediately made me regret ever watching an episode because I know it’s an inevitability that I’m going to run into the people who always feel the need to assert that the book was better than the movie/show.
On a real note, is there a worse group of people on planet Earth than the “book was better than the movie” people?
Let me get one thing straight here: the only reason people ever say that the book was better than the movie/show is because they just want you to know they read the book. That’s about it. They just want to sit on their elitist literature throne and try their best to ruin your experience because they know you’ll never go out of your way to crush 1000 pages of whatever bullshit you’re currently watching.
For example, all I heard from people after I watched Lone Survivor was that the movie was exaggerated and wasn’t factually accurate. Like yeah bro, it probably WAS exaggerated and it probably WASN’T accurate because it was a fucking movie. I respect the hell out of our troops because I’m way too big of a pussy to go through what they go through on a regular basis but I wholeheartedly don’t care how much Hollywood stuck to the actual story. I just want to see Mark Wahlberg pack dips in the woods and hose down middle eastern dudes with an assault rifle for two hours.
So now, whenever people tell me that they’re reading something, I immediately tell them that if Hollywood were to adapt it into a film, it would absolutely crush the book because books never exaggerate enough on all the cool stuff.
P.S. I always tell people that The Cat In The Hat or The Lorax was a better book than movie because, well, I can…